|A LITTLE PORTION OF INSPIRATIONAL TONE - Depression Causes A Sense Of Hopelessness And Despair by Starboy(m): Sat 16, October, 2021|
Depression causes a sense of hopelessness and despair, this prevents you from seeing anything worthy in yourself and then you become friends with substances such as alcohol that can numb the pain albeit temporarily.
One is steadily addicted to a particular mission to sabotage anything meaningful in life, the adrenaline is a go-to high that risk taking and nonchalance become a source of inspiration.
There was a time I’d only dream of the matrix that warps time when one is falling off a high rise, such uncharted and surreal feeling must be the highest I believe any human being can achieve in this life.
Do you know one can have an amazing 10 seconds of eternal free fall off the highest cliff on the Mambilla plateau or even that much from jumping off the highest building in Nigeria.
These alluring thoughts enveloped my being during my darkest seasons, I really wanted to know what it feels like to have that one last descending perspective.
Would one be able to make out the horrified faces of people at the terminal phase of the descent?
You can’t say for certain, however, I am sure the thrill would be absolutely perfect.
This is the difficulty with depression in solitary lulls, you have all the time to explore feelings and ideas that otherwise wouldn’t occupy an iota of space in one’s consciousness.
All that you think about during those dark times can affect how you see yourself and worth, you are not expendable and the extant works of conquerors in ages past ought to guide you through.
See the worth in yourself as you’d be amazed what comes from a little dose of positive vibe.
I don’t believe I was sitting on a goldmine and I was about to throw everything down the drain without even taking a second back to consider that I might be a bag of very fit pounds of protein structuralized by a calcified frame governed from a cavernous abode at the apical point, this abode houses the most beautiful ensemblage of fatty gyre and constant synaptic pulses cushioned in cerebral fluid.
You have a brain that is capable of making money through ideation and one need not be ashamed to make money no matter the depth of philosophical insights.
You cannot help others if you can’t monetize all within your being, I have suddenly discovered I could work for any NGO in war torn places like Potishkum or Maiduguri and thereby monetize my professional license and to my amazement as we sat down to evaluate my CV, I realized I paid a N100, 000 some years ago for a training at Obafemi Awolowo University, the training was subsidized by USAID in collaboration with MSH and I think Fhi 360.
The problem is that I didn’t really value that personal effort so the certificate of participation has never really come to my mind as something I could add up to the plate of my bargaining scale.
That reminds me of how I invested N100, 000 in that venture, a female friend had talked me into going along with her to the programme and now I am reconnecting some dots, the women in my life have been those who seem to nudge me in the right direction only to be faced with stiff resistance for no reason other than a man I ought to have forgiven a long time ago. How I wish I could hug her once more and thank her for helping me see the need for such professional development venture.
I have rarely been given sound advice by male friends, it’s always a round trip from the pub to the joints but then here I am with one of the most inspiring person picking apart my worth like a child dismantling a Lego castle only to group certain valuable bricks in various categories that I can literally smell money from my endowments – okay the smell is that of a crisp 200 naira note buried in my breast pocket. A moment for laughter perhaps, then I turned my attention back to the categories she had made with more attention this time, apparently I could gather multiple streams of income by managing my talents, qualifications, and, time appropriately and all this effort is anchored on a seemingly naive logic statement that she had made and it follows;
“You claim to be kind and altruistic, helping people makes you happy kwo?”
I nodded sheepishly without a clue as to where this was headed.
“You cannot help others if you don’t have money shikenan!”
“As jara, you can beat depression by making money to help others as this makes you happy!”
My mouth was still wide open and suddenly I feel the wisest and most profound things need no deep contemplation or unnecessary philosophizing.
Philosophers are often self absorbed that most times would be imperceptible to the opportunities right before them.
I am not trying to sound conceited but for the first time I have seen a potential for multiple sources of income and they include;
Offering technical services in diagnostics for any NGO in the NE of Nigeria or even war torn areas in Africa. This is well within reach that I might even be over qualified if I include all my qualifications.
I have been editing pro bono for about 2 years now and would leverage on that. I intend to monetize every valuable experience I’ve gathered.
I am a content developer for some websites catering to diverse areas from lifestyle, education, to essential services but I’ve never thought about making money off this as I write for fun.
I went through some government approved books, one sponsored through SUBEB and only 50 pages with major errors and minor typos. These books and collection of poems fetch the author money but I feel I could offer something more, and writing without remuneration on Facebook isn’t exactly the best financial decision any writer can make.
I could write concise guides on creative writing, critical thinking, philosophy, and living in contemporary times as a nonreligious person in Africa.
Suddenly remember sitting in a hall drooling while a certain “motivational” speaker talked and he wasn’t of much depth. I could speak from the heart especially when telling others how to chug along in this quagmire called life.
I tried my hands at teaching and I could offer a whole lot in this area too.
Setting up a reading space with scrabble, chess, ICT and debate space could be a thing that would bring contentment.
I also learnt about agribusiness with contacts from the village I serve, facilitating the wholesale of farm produce from that community could fetch some money.
Lastly, one must keep pride and philosophy aside to ‘lick ass’ if one is to move smoothly in this geographical area. Africans just want to be worshipped before they can offer anything of financial benefit to others, sad as this may sound coming from me but that’s the way things work most times here.
Suddenly I realize life could be worth living if I fulfill my potential alongside a charity that provides reading materials especially dictionaries, scrabble, chess, and seminars on creative writing for promising girls in rural areas so they can learn to tell stories, I don’t have to inspire them to write stories about women’s issues or place them under pressure to write perfectly, no, just telling another human being they have the power to tell a story about anything is in itself very empowering.
I have not really thought about the potential within until now and I believe there is something out there for the taking but it makes me all the more excited as the possibility is there that I could actually own a motorcycle from my endeavours.
The future can be promising if one suspends the negative thoughts and focus on those talents which can be monetized because you cannot help anybody if you have no income.
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