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House Wives And Single Mothers Avoiding Both Extremes Alhaji Atiku Abubakar Has Four Wives And Twenty Eight Children
Both metaphorically represent the past and the future respectively. Housewives are the past and are fast becoming endangered species while single mothers are the future and a notion fast gaining social normalcy.

The concept of ‘housewife’ in our day is a taboo. It is almost a scandal for any woman today to identify as a housewife. The nomenclature is often associated with backwardness; old-fashioned and/or lack of proper education.

To tag yourself a ‘housewife’ in this time and age is to imply that you are some piece of furniture in the home. It’s really viewed with distaste and derision amongst most modern women, especially now that feminism is emerging as a countercultural ideology.

But this was not always the case. Once upon a time women wore the label ‘housewife’ as a medal of honour. Every young lady wanted to be wifed and manage a home. In those days it was the pride of women to be told that they were good homemakers and managers.

When women were solely responsible for home economics their role as economists in the home was deemed equally important as the role of men who went out to win the bread. Our mothers held the department of home economics and relished it. Each partner (husband and wife) holding different portfolios.

Today’s women however see that role differently. They see it as demotion for women rather than an equal but different position. They have their eyes on other priorities. The home is not top on that list. Their argument is that whatever a man can do, women can do even better. Or, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. Hence, gender equality!

To be fair, the role of women as housewives and home economists has suffered a stereotype due to the patriarchal nature of many civilized societies. But now again we have a situation where we may be throwing away the baby with the bathwater. In doing so we lose balance and court extremes.

As a young man and, most crucially, as a lawyer I see the trend of single motherhood gaining social normalcy; becoming the new norm. Barring bias, I would share the blame equally to both genders for the following reason;

(Note that this is my personal subjective observation which is not intended to be exhaustive)

* I have noticed that many men today have become lazier EITHER because they lived or stayed too long with their mothers OR because modern women have taken over the driver’s seat through better personal economics. That means many women now earn more money than their men, making many men become laid-back and self-indulgent. In time the women tire out, seek either separation or divorce out of unending frustration. The fallout is single motherhood.

Perhaps it’s not an ‘either/or’ issue. That may actually be a false dichotomy, and a huge part of me thinks it is. It may just be that BOTH reasons and many more are responsible for the single motherhood culture that is now gaining notoriety among young mothers. I lean more in this direction.

When young mothers become single mothers while the fathers are still alive and living, then we ought to pay dire attention to our sociocultural evolution. Something is fatally wrong!

We thought being housewives was retrogressive but the replacement is not any edifying. We thought being housewives degrades the dignity of womanhood, but single motherhood endangers our future because it takes two to create a child and it’d take two (and more) to raise a child.

The concept of single motherhood may be attractive for educated, independent (meaning rich) and modern women, but if truth must be told someone else will soon pay the price for it. That someone is the child under her watch who would grow up to continue the vicious cycle.

What do I mean by ‘the vicious cycle’?

If the child is male he grows up never knowing the true measure of a man who is the husbandman (caregiver) of a wife. His mother being a woman is the all-sufficient one. If the child is female she grows up falsely thinking that the true measure of a woman is education and financial independence. They’d both be fatally wrong!

But this is the inevitability of the single mother culture. It is not only bad, but fatally and ominously bad.

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